“Kayo pero di kayo, kame pero di kame”. Mutual Understanding. Mag-Un. Flings. Status Complicated !…. Almost same as relationship, pero hindi. Ito yun tipo na parirala na kung saan ang dalawang tao ay more than friends, but not lovers. Yun tipong “action speaks louder than words”. Let the gestures do the talking. Walang ligawan na naganap. Sa kilos niyo at galaw niyo parang kayo, pero hindi. Its just happened. Para bang relationship without commitments. Alam mo yun?.
She also works in a call center industry. She’s my officemates actually. Her openness, honesty and sincerity..the real her makes me feel that she is so cool and true. I’ve grown fond on her in that short time that we’ve known each other. We both strolling at the mall chatting with each other and just the thought of her that she is beside me is comforting enough. Watching movies, exchanging messages, missed calls and e-mails knowing that she thought about me even once during the day. We also go to church. During my off I usually spending nights at her board, vacations, out of towns and so on…..Hugs and kisses, chocolates and dvd marathons even when there is no occasion. We were accused pa nga kase nagbabakasyon kame sa province ng kaming dalawa lang. There’s just one hitch: she has a boyfriend.
Alam ko naman yun sa una pa lang. Pero pinili ko pa rin ang ganitong sitwasyon. “Paano pag nalaman ni ganito?. Paano pag nalaman ni ganiyan”.. “We don’t talk about it but it doesn’t really matter,”. “What’s important is I am enjoying this — whatever it is.”
Yeah its fun. But i did not set any expectation na may patutunguhan nga kase wala talagang kasiguraduhan. Siguro ok na nga ito rather than no relationship at all. No commitments involved. She could not commit kase nga she is committed to someone else on the other way around i was not ready to commit.
Natutunan ko na hindi nga itong masasabing “real thing”. Pero as long as may nagpapasaya ng araw ko. May kakulitan at kaasaran. May kaharutan at kakuwentuhan. Kapag tumunog na un phone ko, Makita ko pa lang name niya nagiging “smiley” na ang puso ko.Laging may kasama. Hindi man ito ang the real thing pero salamat na rin.
The emotions were real. Pero sa ganitong set up tanggap ko na ako ang dehado. I admit. It is fleeting. Wala akong panghahawakan na “kame”. Walang “us”. Meron lang “you and me”.
Now its end. Real pain, i just welcome it with no regrets. Aminado ako na minsan isang araw umaasa pa rin ako na may karugtong pa rin. Hoping to bring back what we used to have.
I just enjoy the feeling without thinking the consequences. Hanggang doon lang siya. …almost there pero walang tuldok.